Pain in the ...

Pain is such an interesting sensation. Physical pain seems to be a warning that the body is being damaged in some way, by heat, by being cut or crushed, etc. This makes sense. We need some type of warning system to tell us, "Hey, stop that. You're in danger." The really interesting part here is that the sensors that tell us something hurts are the same sensors that tell us if something tickles. Extremely low level tickling can also register as pleasure (...and this coming from a guy who hates to be tickled). So it stands to reason that the same sensors that register pain also register pleasure.

Okay, what about emotional pain? Does emotional pain serve the same purpose as physical pain? Someone leaves our life or someone we love is "cruel" to us. What is the pain we feel? What is its purpose? Is it the emotional or psychological equivalent of physical pain? I don't know. In some cases, perhaps. When you're young and you do something your parental figure believes you shouldn't do, you are chastised. If you value the parental figure's opinion, you probably feel guilt or shame which, in turn, probably cause some form of emotional pain. Thus, we are warned not to do something because we don't want to feel the pain again. But what about when we feel pain because someone says something careless which strikes a nerve? We didn't "do" anything to warrant this pain, yet we feel it anyway. Why? Are we letting that person have too much control over our feelings? Perhaps that's the warning. Maybe it's the "heart's" way of telling us, "Hey, this person can manipulate you. Is that how you want to live?"

Well, it's an interesting concept, anyway. If someone affects you or you feel the effect of their actions/words/etc., they probably have some level of control that you have given them, either consciously or subconsciously. If the effect isn't what you want, it may be time to examine the relationship (be it friendship, lover, associate, etc.) and find a way of viewing the situation such that what they say and do no longer causes the pain. This doesn't mean hurt/control them before they hurt/control you. This means changing your internal view point. If someone says to you, "You're a jerk," you can either feel the pain of the insult or you can step back from the incident and simply accept that said person thinks you're a jerk. The rough part is doing this with a loved one and still maintaining intimacy. It's (relatively) easy to simply stop caring about someone's opinion if you stop caring about the person as a whole. The trick is to continue to care about the person and yet cease to care about their opinion. I think this would be a great example of love without attachment; it's a great ideal but getting there can be a struggle.

Blah, blah, blah. I think I've blathered on long enough for one evening. Good luck in all your endeavors.